The Weird Weekend

That was a pretty strange weekend. I spent most of the day Friday at home writing, but decided to head to the bookstore later in the evening. On the way I got a call from my brother. Something wasn't right with my grandpa, and my brother suggested I get over there. When I arrived, it seemed like my grandpa was dying. I mean, he was dying. It's kind of weird to recall it that way, because as of right now he's completely fine and happy and alive, but Friday night, I think he was right there. What's more, I think he wanted to be there. He's talked before about being ready to go home to be with Jesus, and I know he's got a lot of aches and pains and weariness and stuff. I don't know, now that I start typing about it I really find that I don't want to talk about it. Suffice to say, it was a surreal night and my grandpa very nearly passed away. And the next morning he was completely fine again.

So Saturday was just sort of an impromptu family day. A lot of relatives who rarely come around were around at my parents house to visit my grandpa. He was in great spirits, and while he didn't seem to have much memory of the previous night, did talk about how he hopes everyone saw how peaceful it is when someone who's saved and knows they are going to heaven is going to die. Beyond that, I worked my second job and remained a little shell shocked from the previous night.

Then today I slept in and woke up feeling a little sick. I've been doing a ton of writing today, working hard on Black Badge Season Two. As it's gotten later I'm starting to feel worse. I'm hoping it's just being tired and not getting for real sick. Spent a little too long digging through old emails. What started out as an innocent search for some info turned into a depressing trip down memory lane. It's weird to relive old friendships, old relationships, and be reminded of what your life had then that it doesn't have now. It was funny to read my 23 year old self emailing his then girlfriend and talking about "having it all together". Oh 23 year old self, if only you knew what 30 year old self knows. And that's that no one ever really has it all together. Sometimes you're closer than other times to having it together, but really we're just trying to do our best.

Anyways, like I said, weird weekend. I'm worried about my grandpa. I realized a little while ago that I've been keeping my cellphone and my home phone right by me no matter where I'm at in the house. He seems so fine, but after being right there with him and holding his hand on Friday night as he took what appeared to be his last breath, I just don't know. It might be a little while before I stop expecting to get that phone call from my mom to tell me he's gone.